Barbie

Directed by Greta Gerwig. Starring Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, America Ferrera, Kate McKinnon, Simu Liu, and Will Ferrell.

Stereotypical Barbie (Robbie) lives in Barbieland, a magical realm where all the Barbies and Kens reside. Every day is glorious, and the society is matriarchal in nature. All the Barbies have jobs like journalist or doctor. Meanwhile the Kens have jobs like ‘beach’ (not to be confused with lifeguard). Beach Ken (Gosling) is devoted to Barbie and is only happy when he’s with her, and he’s jealous of a rival Ken (Simu Liu).

Everything is fine until Barbie begins experiencing existential dread. She worries about mortality. Worse, she has cellulite and flat feet. She consults Weird Barbie (McKinnon) who tells her she needs to visit the real world and find the girl who’s playing with her to discover what’s wrong.

Barbie sets off. Ken hides in her car but she allows him to tag along. She’s looking forward to the real world and imagines she will be feted because of all the work the Barbies have done to advance the cause of female empowerment. Instead she discovers a world where she’s objectified and harassed by men and dismissed by girls for encouraging unrealistic beauty standards. While this is happening Ken discovers the patriarchy, which seems to have something to do with horses.

Meanwhile the CEO of Mattel (Farrell) is horrified to discover that a Barbie has escaped Barbieland and insists she’s captured and ‘put back in her box.’

It’s been a curious summer, who knew that two films released on the same day, yet hugely different, would find their fates intertwined, but here we are. A film about the man who built the A-bomb and a film about a plastic bombshell come to life, one dark and brooding the other (ostensibly) bright and colourful. In any other year they might have been in competition, but in 2023 their PR seemed to feed off each other. Some people saw both in the same day (I’m still not sure what the best way round would be) many others, like me, saw them separately.

They’ve both done very well, and both deserved to do very well, but I’ve already talked about Oppie so let’s discuss Barbie.

At first there’s something very familiar about Barbie. Her endless succession of perfect days feels reminiscent of the Lego Movie (the presence of Ferrel feeds into this) but even more recent film like Ryan Reynolds’ Free Guy.

Thankfully Gerwig has something a little more subversive up her sleeve as the film deals with feminism, sexual harassment, the patriarchy and basically the fact that women still maybe aren’t as equal as they should be.

Don’t worry about subtext or nuance, if the film has a flaw (and it’s debatable if it is even a flaw) it’s that everything is in the text, no need to go digging around. This film is a subtle as a brick. That it’s still hugely enjoyable is down to Gerwig’s talent behind the camera and Robbie and Gosling’s in front of it. And hey, maybe Garth Marenghi was right; subtext is for cowards.

The film looks amazing, especially Barbieland which feels utterly real despite being anything but. The set designs are insane and it’s just gorgeous to look at, and makes for a marked contrast with the real world when Barbie and Ken reach it and Gerwig plays with pop culture in ways you never expected. Seriously, the 2000 A Space Odyssey opening took my breath away and made me giggle a lot.

It never ceases to amaze me both how beautiful but also how talented Robbie is, and this is the perfect role for her. Likely a dozen other actresses could have easily pulled off the physicality of Barbie, but Robbie also pulls off Barbie’s heart and soul. The dejection in her face when she realises the (not so) little girl who’s her owner despises her, is heartbreaking. The film breaks the fourth wall several times, but the funniest example is when it does this to point out just how unrealistically beautiful Robbie is. Kudos to Margot for not taking herself too seriously and throwing herself into the role so completely.  

Some people have been surprised at how good Gosling is at comedy. These people obviously never watched The Nice Guys (and if you’ve never watched The Nice Guys stop reading this review and go see it now). His Ken is hilarious, a beautiful, insecure idiot and his shock and amazement when he realises that in the real world men have all the power is as funny as it is worrying; the scene where he tries to get a succession of jobs based solely on his gender is a highlight. Much like Robbie though, there are hidden depths beneath the plastic. I mean maybe not so deep, but he’s more than just Beach.

McKinnon is a hoot as Weird Barbie, and much like everyone else in the film seems to be having a blast) but special mention should go to America Ferrera as Gloria, a frazzled real world corporate mom. Her monologue is worth the price of admission alone.

However much you dress it up you are watching a giant commercial for Barbie dolls, and the fact is that maybe the doll has perpetuated an unrealistic image of female of female beauty over the years, but somehow Gerwig walks a tightrope between the message she wants to get out there, and the message Mattel wants her to get out there, and it works, it really does.

It’s a fun, gloriously surreal movie that’s far more intelligent than it might appear, and proves yet again what a good director Gerwig is (yet to find a GG film I didn’t like) but also reinforces that Robbie and Gosling are genuine movie stars.

The future’s bright, the future’s pink.

Blakes 7. Series C, Episode 1: Aftermath

The battle rages between the human and Andromedan fleets. One side’s even bought ships back from the dead because I could swear that’s the Nova Queen from Star One and it seems to the collide with the same ore freighter.

Liberator is taking a lot of hits. The flight deck seems deserted, and over the speakers Zen gives a status check and it isn’t looking good.

Vila checks the life capsules (wouldn’t you send someone less likely to just pop himself into one?)

On the nearby planet Barbarian…er, I mean the nearby planet Sarran, some locals see lights in the sky and their leader, Chel, talks about a prophesy and demons coming to destroy them. He orders his men to hunt down any outsiders.

On Liberator we’re told that Blake and Jenna have already left the ship (convenient) and now it’s time for the others to do likewise. Before he can get into an escape pod Avon is knocked out by falling debris. Cally and Vila dump him, and Orac, into a life capsule and eject it. Before they can get into their own capsules a problem emerges, can Cally fix the electrics before Liberator takes one hit too many?

Avon wakes up in his capsule but can’t reach the controls. He orders Orac to land them safely and then passes out.

On Sarran a couple of Federation survivors are brutally slain, but not before expositing that 80% of the Federation fleet has been destroyed, it seems the only reason humanity won was because they had more ships.

Avon makes it out of his capsule and is almost immediately attacked. It looks like he’s done for until a Sarran takes an arrow in the back. His saviour is a young woman who takes him to a nearby cave and introduces herself as Dayna Mellanby before telling Avon he’s very beautiful and then kissing him (did Darrow write this?). She agrees to take him back for Orac but on the way they run into an old acquaintance. Yes, inexplicably President Servalan has crash landed on Sarran too and old enemies might have to put their differences aside if they want to survive.

The first thing to note is that we have new titles! (unsurprisingly). The second thing to note is that if you ever doubted that Avon was the show’s new lead, this episode will set you right. We get mere minutes of Vila and Cally before it’s implied they might not make it, and one of our new cast members gets just enough time to ask what Avon’s doing on his ship. There is Dayna of course and thankfully she gets a decent introduction, even if her entire family is wiped out in the space of one episode leaving her nowhere to go but to the Liberator.

Since we’re talking about Daya lets state the obvious. How wonderful is it that a popular British tv show decided to cast a young woman of colour as a main cast member in 1980? I’m not saying there weren’t issues at the time, far too opportunities for non-white actors, so its refreshing that the BBC saw no issue in hiring Josette. What makes it even better is that, as far as I can remember, her ethnicity is referenced only once in the two seasons she stars in. I’m really not sure why she snogs Avon, or maybe I am, given the men in her life boils down to her dad and psychopathic warriors who want to kill her, so it’s no surprise she’s interested when a decent looking bloke who doesn’t seem to be insane pops up (this also explains Justin I guess, but I’m getting ahead of myself).

This is Avon’s episode, well Avon and Servalan, and you wouldn’t really believe they’d had such limited screentime together up to this point because the chemistry is palpable, much like Avon and Vila you wonder why someone didn’t push Avon and Madame President together sooner! Forget how improbable it is that she winds up on Sarran, even Avon glosses over this by saying it’s so improbable that it makes a perverse kind of logic. Seeing Jacqui wandering around the sand dunes in her glad rags is worth the price of admission alone, but we also get that scene between the two of them where Servalan offers Avon the chance to rule the galaxy by her side (before kissing him, seriously did Darrow write this?) only to have Avon push her to the ground. “Imagination my only limit? I’d be dead in a week.” A wonderful line delivered with wonderful panache by Darrow, you’d almost think he’d been the lead all along. Pearce’s look as she lies there on the floor is the icing on the cake.

Another joy is the bitchiness between Servalan and Dayna which is so wonderfully catty.

“I like unsophisticated clothes, like unsophisticated people.”

“Sure it’s not too young for you?”

Meow! Saucer of milk to Sarran undersea base.

And Servalan hasn’t even murdered Dayna’s dad by this point!

Ah Hal Mellanby, he’s a groovy cat who gets things done, and a blind black engineer who sees via technology seven years before Geordi LaForge, his backstory is interesting, a former freedom fighter reviled by even his followers because he left them all to die to save his daughter. Servalan’s murder of him is truly vindictive, but does give Dayna another reason to join up with Avon if having nowhere else to go wasn’t enough. She vows to kill Servalan, sooner or later (three guesses how this works out).

An interesting plot, great characters and some good dialogue (though not Hal’s “This is my adopted daughter, Lauren, she and Dayna grew up together” which is wince inducing) and sparks aplenty between Avon and Servalan. No more Blake, no more Travis, but, and whisper it, who need’s em?

 But wait, who’s this curly haired young man in the Federation uniform who claims Liberator is his ship? And did Vila and Cally survive? Tune in next time to find out!

Blakes 7. Series B, Episode 13: Star One

The space liner Nova Queen, carrying 4000 passengers, is approaching her destination. Trouble is there’s another ship on her flight path. Ground control assure them there’s no problem; “Computer control doesn’t make mistakes.”

Except the other ship doesn’t move out of the way and before they can go to manual control the two ships collide.

Skip to Space Command where an adviser named Durkim is briefing Servalan. He explains that the collision wasn’t the end of the matter because the Nova Queen’s stardrive hit the planet and wiped out half the population. The Supreme Commander (who clearly teleported all the way from Goth) says accidents happen, but Durkim explains that climate control is breaking down on all the frontier worlds. There is one common denominator. Computer control, which means there’s a problem with Star One.

Durkim says they need to get there and fix the problem. Servalan handily reminds the audience that no one knows where Star One is!

Well, almost no one.

Liberator is in the interstellar void between island galaxies. According to the information they received on Goth, Star One is out here somewhere.

There’s an interesting discussion about fanaticism, despite not knowing what’s currently happening on the frontier worlds, Blake’s intention is clearly to do something similar with Star One. Avon agrees, but only so he can get rid of Blake and take over Liberator. (Bit rude, there are other crew members, Kerr). Darrow has some lovely lines here, telling Blake he can wade in blood up to his armpits so long as there’s an end to it.

“I want to be free,” he says. When it’s pointed out his is free, Avon continues. “I want to be free of him.”

Back on Space Command Servalan has armed guards. Never one to miss an opportunity she’s using the chaos to launch a coup. “Space Command no longer recognises the authority of the President or the Council.” Durkim explains he can’t even hazard a guess where Star One is. Servalan shows him a picture of a woman, Lurena, who seems to be an old girlfriend of Durkim. She’s on Star One, which isn’t deserted as we thought.

Nice cut to Lurena on Star One whose comrades remark that she’s been acting strangely, and that maybe her conditioning is breaking down. Question is, is Lurena the one causing the chaos, or is she the only sane one left?

And we reach the finale of the second series, and the end of the quest that’s dominated much of the season. For two characters this is the end of the road, for another this is almost the end of the road. We’ll never see Jenna or Travis again, but Blake will show up twice more (or once more if you want to be pedantic!)

Star One is an incredible bit of TV, not only because it’s a great romp with wonderful dialogue (more on that later) but because it does something too few finales do, it subverts your expectations. They’ve spent half the season looking for Star One, intending either to destroy, or at least cripple, it, but instead they find themselves having to defend it, and our galaxy, from an external threat. Soon they’re warning Servalan than the aliens are coming and lining themselves up to hold the line until the Federation fleet can arrive. A simply wonderful example of giving you what you need rather than what you want.

Early on we’re reminded how arrogant and fanatical Blake can be. Cally asks him if they are fanatics. She rightly points out that millions may die if they destroy Star One. Blake counters that if they stop now all it’s been is senseless killing (nice sunk cost fallacy there, Roj) and that continuing is; “The only way I’ll know I was right.”

Cally. “You were right?” Much like Pressure Point it always comes down to Blake’s fanaticism and arrogance, but its nicely handled by the cast and Thomas always plays Blake with such moral reasonableness that you don’t always notice how fanatical he can be. This run through has certainly improved my view of Gareth Thomas as an actor. His performance is far more nuanced than I’d given him credit for before.

They seem to already be setting Avon up as the lead however, and Darrow gets some stonking lines.

Travis: “I thought you were the one with brains?”

Avon: “Brains, but no heart.”

This shortly before Avon threatens to blow a limb or two off and tells Travis he can “talk or scream, the choice is yours.” He also gets to blow away several aliens (cue more great lines) and of course when it comes to Travis, while Blake shoots him first, it is Avon who delivers the coup de grace.

Blake: “Is Travis dead?”

Avon: “He is now.”

And if final proof were needed, with Blake out of the fight who commands the Liberator in its doomed defence of our galaxy? Only the most cynical man in space.

Before that there’s good stuff for everyone, especially for Cally who gets to run around planting bombs, then picking them up again, and who is at the centre of a great running gag about finding a door marked ‘entrance’. Even Jenna and Vila left on the Liberator get stuff to do. Vila gets some great lines (made by Keating’s delivery) like “Jenna…let’s run for it.” And Sally gets to make a huge call, basically getting Orac to phone up Servalan. What’s always struck me about this scene is how stilted Sally seems, and I’m not sure why, maybe too much gobbledegook and exposition?

Talking of Servalan, you can’t blame a woman for trying, and what else to do when the world is collapsing around your ears than make that play for power you’ve always craved, and Jacqui plays it beautifully. “I will not be President of a ruined Empire.” Truly one of the best fictional villains ever.

Talk of Servalan of course brings us to Travis. I think it’s fair to say that Croucher is unfairly maligned as the lesser Travis, but in many ways, he gets more to do that Greif did, and at least any changes in personality can be explained by his re-education followed by his trial and escape and being on the run from his former paymasters. Even so, that Travis would betray his entire species feels like a stretch, but then again, he is clearly mad by this point.

It’s best not to give the Travis/Andromedans alliance too much thought. How did they get through the minefield to Star One? How long have they been working with Travis and how did they meet? Is there a Space Tinder hooking up genocidal maniacs with hairy (or not so hairy) aliens?

The Aliens are interesting, and Boucher neatly explains why they keep their human shape. He also keeps things vague at the start, is everyone else a bad guy or is Lurena paranoid going on insane? Boucher doesn’t keep us on tenterhooks for long, but it’s still nicely done. The TV Tropes website describes Lurena as ‘a hero from another story’ and that’s quite fitting. Basically, she’s Kirt Russell in The Thing…

And so we reach the ending, after a lovely scene between Darrow and Thomas (“For what it is worth I have always trusted you, right from the beginning.”) we segway into a cliffhanger so fantastic then ten years later Next Gen would do the same thing at the end of Best of Both Worlds Pt 1.

Vila: “Avon this is stupid!”

Avon: “When has that ever stopped us?”

All in all, Star One is a top notch episode of Blakes 7, in fact a top notch episode of television full stop, and if further proof were needed it cements Boucher as the best Blakes 7 writer.

I’ll miss Blake’s moral certainty, but at least I know I will see him again, and oddly I’ll miss Travis’ increasingly ludicrous adventures, but most of all I’ll miss Jenna Stannis, a top notch character who could, and should, have been even better if Sally had been given more to do.

There’s only one more thing to say.

“FIRE!”

Oppenheimer

Directed by Christopher Nolan. Starring Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Robert Downey Jr., Matt Damon, Florence Pugh and Josh Hartnett.

In the 1940s theoretical physicist Robert Oppenheimer (Murphy) is project managing the Manhattan Project, the American programme to build the first atomic bomb.

Earlier we see him travel to Europe to expand his knowledge before returning to America where he starts teaching at the University of California. Here he meets two women who will dominate his life. Jean Tatlock (Pugh) a communist troubled by her demons, and Kitty Puening (Blunt) the woman who’ll become his wife.

After the war he finds himself at odds with Lewis Strauss (Downey Jr.) the irascible chairman of the Atomic Energy Commission, and despite his service to the US he will effectively be put on trial to determine if he can retain his security clearance.

L to R: Tom Conti is Albert Einstein and Cillian Murphy is J. Robert Oppenheimer in OPPENHEIMER, written, produced, and directed by Christopher Nolan.

I’ve been a fan of Christopher Nolan since the first time I saw Memento. I think he’s a phenomenal director whose made films I love; Memento, The Prestige, Batman Begins, the Dark Knight, Interstellar and Dunkirk, plus films I really like; Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, and one film I really hated; Tenet!. He’s the rarest of directors who can make intelligent blockbusters, a master of sight and sound and of the epic, but how would a three hour (two hours fifty minutes if you leave the moment the credits start rolling and this ain’t the MCU so Samuel L Jackson isn’t waiting till the end of the credits to recruit him to the Avengers)  film about a nuclear physicist fit into his overall oeuvre?

Well for me it would seem to fit in very well, and thankfully this is more Dunkirk than Tenet.

It’s incredible in many respects. You wouldn’t think a near three hour film that’s predominately about men in suits having serious conversations about physics would be that interesting, but you’d be wrong. Oppenheimer is utterly compelling, and while I wouldn’t say the run time flies by, it certainly never drags.

Anyone who’s seen a Christopher Nolan film before understands that he likes to play with time, to show things out of order, and Oppenheimer is no different. We see a young man at university, heading off to Europe to meet renowned physicists before returning and getting embroiled in campus politics and even communism (though he never seems to be a true believer, rather a man who wants to understand differing viewpoints.)

The bulk of the film of course relates to the Manhattan Project, but there’s also the post war hearings over whether he can keep his security clearance and also the senate confirmation hearings where it will be decided if Strauss can become Secretary of Commerce.

Nolan bounces between timelines, some in colour some in black and white, and you just have to keep up which, for most of the time, I did, although things certainly became clearer the longer the film went on.

For a film with epic themes, it’s a very intimate experience. Murphy is on screen practically the whole time, often in close-up as actor and writer/director strive to show us every possible emotion from elation to horror at what he achieves, and however good the script and direction are, this is Cillian Murphy’s film. He’s come a long way from Breakfast on Pluto, Red eye and 28 Days Later and this is one of those cases of a part he was born to play. Make no mistake, if he doesn’t get at least an Oscar nomination there is no justice.

And I don’t think he’ll be the only one. Robert Downey Jr. is simply superb, unrecognisable as Straus, a consummate politician who every so often lets the mask slip to reveal the arrogant, power-hungry conniver within. I fully expect him to get a best supporting actor nomination.

I also expect Blunt to do well. Initially I thought this was going to be one of those films where they hire a really great actress and wind up giving her little to do beyond being ‘the wife’ but in the final act Blunt comes into her own.

Florence Pugh (who like Blunt can rarely do wrong in my eyes) is good as well, though her role is understandably much smaller, still her character has a huge impact on Oppenheimer.

Damon is excellent as General Groves, but really everyone in the film is excellent and you will find yourself sitting there going “is that so and so?” It’s nice to see Josh Hartnett back in big movies again but you could literally throw a dart and hit a great actor in this film and if it has flaws, that is one of them, because sometimes you will sit there thinking “Wait is that him from that thing?” rather than listening to an in-depth explanation of how at atomic bombs work.

Similarly you might at times lose track of who certain people are, especially those we don’t see too much of (like Werner Heisenberg or Kenneth Branagh’s Niels Bohr).

One big talking point is the fact that Nolan doesn’t show you the bombs being dropped on Hiroshima or Nagasaki. We don’t see the death or destruction caused by the bombs Oppenheimer and his team create. Some have seen this an omission. I am not so sure. I think it might have been trite to show the horror, and might have detracted from it. Here it’s something very distant yet also ever present, and the scene where Oppenheimer and the others watch footage of the aftermath, Nolan shows us nothing except the faces of those watching, and I think that’s far more powerful than CGI’ing hundreds of thousands of people being burned and mangled. Your milage may vary of course.

Nolan’s direction is incredible, and the cinematography amazing. Nolan’s use of sound as well as visual unsurpassed. I saw this in IMAX and am glad I did so because that meant the sound quality was better. People complain that often characters sound muffled in Nolan films, but while I’ve experienced this before I didn’t have any problems here.

All in all a superb biopic that plays more like a thriller, or even at times like a horror story. Is it the story of one man’s genius, a more epic tale about Promethean fire and the arrogance of mankind in thinking it can tame it, or a warning about the potential of nuclear war? It isn’t quite a masterpiece (it could and should have been shorter) but it comes agonisingly close to it and frankly repeat viewings will likely erase any minor issues I have now.

The High Window

By Raymond Chandler

Philip Marlow is hired by Elizabeth Murdock, a wealthy widow, to recover a very valuable stolen coin known as a Brasher Doubloon. Mrs Murdock is convinced the coin was taken by her son’s estranged wife, a former nightclub singer named Linda Conquest. Marlowe doesn’t much like Mrs Murdock, but he takes the case anyway.

He imagines it will be fairly routine but soon he’s embroiled in a case that involves counterfeiting, blackmail and multiple murders.

I started reading Chandler during lockdown and, slowly but surely, I’m working my way through his novels in no particular order. It’s a relatively easy task as he didn’t write many (by contrast trying to read all of Agatha Christie’s work at my age would be a much harder ask!)

I love Chandler’s prose, it’s lean but also descriptive and his use of similes is superb, in other hands some of his similes would appear ridiculous, yet nine times out of ten Chandler pulls them off.

If I have an issue with Chandler, it’s that his plots can be a bit contrived and confusing, but I have to say that I didn’t have this problem with The High Window, so this may be my favourite of the books so far. In part I think this is down to the fact that he wrote this as a novel, so it flows better, many of his other novels were based upon several short stories so he had to try and tie disparate plot elements together.

There’s a great cast of characters, from Merle the timid secretary of Mrs Murdock, to Mrs Murdock herself (who does feel a little too similar to General Sternwood from The Big Sleep at times) to a sleazy nightclub owner named Morny, a rare coin collector named Morningstar and a naïve young detective named George Anson Phillips. Then there’s Linda Conquest and her wonderfully named friend Lois Magic, a creep named Vannier and the obligatory LA cops who get in Marlowe’s way.

It’s a great story with twists and turns aplenty and it doesn’t quite go where you expect.

Highly recommended.   

Blakes 7. Series B, Episode 12: The Keeper

Liberator is in orbit of the planet Goth and Blake is preparing to teleport down. He’s still after the location of Star One and when he finds it, he’s going to destroy it. Avon postulates an alternative, they could use Star One to take control of the Federation. Vila is keen, suggesting he could be President, or that they could take turns.

Blake isn’t so eager. Avon intuits that this is because Blake is afraid it would corrupt him. Blake replies that that kind of power would corrupt anyone.

Blake, Jenna and Vila teleport down. Goth isn’t an inviting planet and the surface is toxic which means the locals live underground in the Tents of Goth. Talking of the locals we see some barbarian types shamble out of a cave.

In orbit Liberator spots a Federation Pursuit Ship leaving the planet’ surface. Somehow Avon identifies it as Travis’ ship and suggests destroying it. Cally isn’t so sure and worries that they’ll be out of communications rage with the others while they’re hunting Travis down. (I mean, Cally, how often has that happened?)

After a robust discussion they go after Travis, who has no idea they’re there.  Avon has no objections to shooting him in the back and the ship is destroyed.

Coincidentally the moment Liberator is out of communication range the barbarians descend on Blake and the others. Liberator returns just in time for a last minute teleport rescue of Blake (first we’ve had for a while) but Jenna and Vila have been captured. Dragged beneath the surface they become prisoners of the warlord Gola and pretty soon a career change is on the cards for both of them. Vila plays the fool and Jenna contemplates becoming a queen…

Another in an irregular series of ‘better episodes than I remember’ though it’s interesting to note that none of the episodes that fall into this category are particularly stellar, they’re just not quite as bad as I recall.

One of the things I liked is the use of the cast (well apart from Blake who spends most of the episode waiting in a stairwell) but Jenna/Vila is an interesting duo we haven’t really had before (and after the next episode we’ll never have again) and Avon/Cally is always nice to see.

Maybe I’m bribed into liking it because it actually gives the girls something to do, in particular Jenna. Yes, on the face of it she’s a damsel in distress but she’s hardly helpless, in fact if anything she begins to play Gola like a cheap guitar, even if she has less success with Tara, Gola’s sister. It’s nice to see, especially when Sally Knyvette gets to roll her eyes at Vila moments after batting her eyelids at Gola. Agency isn’t about kicking in doors or shooting people and Jenna has it here in spades.

Meanwhile Keating gets to play the fool, and given he gets to do this again in Season C’s Sarcophagus he might be a little typecast. His delivery is never less than great though. “I don’t like the dark, I like to see what I’m afraid of.”

The Avon/Cally dynamic is interesting. The first time a ship leaves Cally reluctantly gives in to Avon’s desire to kill their one eyed nemesis, but as the saying goes, “fool me once…”. Of course, the irony is that while Avon blows up an empty ship the first time, they let Travis escape the second.

Travis shows up but not for very long, he’s soon off to get help, or so he tells Servalan, in reality he’s got what he needs and is off to make apocalyptic use of it. Servalan shows up as well, and while its nice to see her interact with Jenna and Vila, why is she here, all alone, and more importantly where does she disappear off to midway through the episode?

Presumably she just keeps her head down and waits for the cavalry to turn up, but timing wise it doesn’t quite make sense. In the next episode Liberator and Travis will be on their way to Star One, meanwhile Servalan will be back at Space Command. Maybe the Supreme Commander has a twin we never knew about? Either that or she bribed the Clone Masters. Servalan and Travis’ weird on again/off again relationship makes little sense here, but then it hasn’t done for several episodes now.

The Goths themselves are relatively uninteresting space barbarian types of the kind who sadly show up in Blakes 7 a lot (and we’ll see more of the type in just two episodes time). The family rivalry is sub-Shakespearean at best. That being said, the actors throw themselves into their roles and the duel between Gola and Rod is surprisingly brutal, and Gola’s mistake as he celebrates victory is nicely handled.

In the end it’s a fairly average episode at best, mainly memorable for giving Jenna something to do (and multiple nice outfits), casting Vila in the role he was born to play, oh yes, and for providing the location of Star One.

We’d best head there next!

The Tin Man: The Ted McMinn Story

By Ted McMinn with Robin Hutchison.

Born and raised in the Dumfries and Galloway, Kevin Clifton McMinn had very humble beginnings, made worse by being abandoned by his mother as a small child. He was given the nickname Ted at an early age and it stuck. He went on to play professional football at the highest levels and is regarded as a legend at several former clubs, including Rangers and Derby County.

As a Derby fan who was lucky enough to see McMinn play, I was interested to read his autobiography and wasn’t disappointed. The first thing to note is that, despite playing in the top flight for Derby, McMinn was not in the same league as many modern players when it came to wages, he played in the 80s and 90s, a time when the game was on the cusp of changes that would see players become millionaires. These changes would come too late for McMinn, who was paid well at the time, but nothing like the riches that would soon be afforded players. Yes, three divorces ate into his finances, but even so, it’s telling that when he finally retired he ended up fitting air conditioning, selling sporting kit, working as a security guard and setting up a taxi and courier firm.

His career was eclectic, starting with Glenafton Athletic before joining Queen of the South for a few hundred pounds and some out of date lottery tickets. After a few years Rangers came calling, and McMinn provided a fan favourite before eventually leaving the club after falling out with new manager Graeme Souness who didn’t rate Ted (and the feeling was mutual). An incident outside of a nightclub didn’t help.

Improbably McMinn’s next port of call was Sevilla, and though injuries meant he didn’t play many games for them, he talks fondly of his time in Spain. Then it was off to Arthur Cox’s Derby, the club he ended up staying the longest time with and playing the most games for, no wonder he became a Derby legend. This part of the book was the most interesting because he talks about games I remember seeing.

All good things come to an end though, and he became surplus to requirements, after an unhappy stint at Brimingham City he spent several seasons at Burnley, becoming a fan favourite.

He played for just two more clubs, first in a move even more improbable than Sevilla he moved to played for Australian club ECU Joondalup, which paid so poorly he worked part time installing the aforementioned aircon. His last hurrah was a few games for Slough Town.

He acted as Assistant Manager to Mark Wright at a few clubs but eventually drifted away from football, even a stint as a matchday presenter with Radio Derby came to an end, and then there’s the saddest part of the story when McMinn was forced to have one leg amputated below the knee. A benefit game was organised between Rangers and Derby at Pride Park was watched by over thirty thousand, and to coincide with this Ted and friends cycled from Glasgow to Derby in order to raise money for the Derbyshire Royal Infirmary’s limbs unit.   

It’s an interesting story about a fairly ordinary bloke, who acknowledges some of his flaws, especially with regard to his failed marriages (though he finally found happiness with wife number 4) yet seems to gloss over others, he had a knack for walking away from some situations when things didn’t go his way, yet also is incredibly resilient, as demonstrated by his reaction to losing his leg, when it would have been easy to wallow he instead quite literally got on his bike.

Even if you’re not a fan of Derby or Rangers, or any other club Ted played for, this is still a really interesting read as a window into the life of a professional footballer in the 80s and 90s.