Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley. Starring Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Regé-Jean Page, Justice Smith, Sophia Lillis, Daisy Head and Hugh Grant.

Edgin Darvis (Pine) is a bard but he was once a Harper, a peacekeeper, but after his wife was murdered by Red Wizards, he turned to crime in order to put food on the table for his baby daughter, Kira. Eventually he teamed up with Holga Kilgore (Rodriguez), a barbarian, who became a surrogate mother for Kira, as well as Simon Aumar (Smith) a less than impressive wizard and Forge Fitzwilliam (Grant) a roguish conman. When one heist went wrong, he and Holga were arrested.

After two years in an arctic prison they escape and head back to the city of Neverwinter to find Kira. They do find her but discover that in their absence Forge has become a father figure for Kira and has also somehow become Lord of Neverwinter. At first their reunion is cordial, but Forge has ulterior motives, soon Edgin and Holga will need to go on a quest if they want to get Kira back, and thwart the plans of Forge and the evil Red Wizards. Along the way they’ll team back up with Simon, recruit a   shapeshifting druid named Doric (Lillis) and cross paths with Xenk Yendar (Page) a ridiculously noble and ridiculously handsome paladin.

Can this ragtag bunch of thieves really hope to save Kira and Neverwinter though?

It’s a curious thing, I’ve done a reasonable amount of role playing in my time, yet I’ve never played D&D, of course I know something of the world, and back in the day I loved the cartoon (more on that later) but mostly I came to this film knowing very little, and you’ll be glad to know that my lack of knowledge didn’t hamper my enjoyment in the slightest.

And there was a lot of enjoyment!

Every so often a film comes along that to look at is just another CGI heavy blockbuster based on some vague or random IP, but turns out to be a genuine joy. The last such film was the first Guardians of the Galaxy film, and while Dungeons & Dragons isn’t quite up to that level, it’s a very good film all the same.

The casting is spot on, something else Guardians got right. Pine is excellent as the leader of the group, less Captain Kirk more Hannibal Smith, and while he doesn’t play Edgin like an idiot, he’s very much just one cog that makes the team work rather than some kind of uber action hero who can do everything. Pine is an actor who impresses me every time I see him. There’s just one flaw, his lute playing and singing don’t remotely convince. Everything else, the hint of nobility behind his thievish eyes, his leadership, his flaws and his love for his daughter and his friends is spot on.

Rodriguez may feel a little wooden at times, but she is playing a stoic barbarian (and how nice to see a woman barbarian) so that makes perfect sense. She convinces in every fight scene and her chemistry with the others, especially Pine and Chloe Coleman as the teenage Kira, is great. It’s kinda amazing to think it’s almost 25 years since I saw her in Girlfight! The woman never ages!

Smith is very good as the woeful wizard, and so engaging that you don’t really mind the ‘believe in yourself’ journey he goes on. Similarly, Lillis is excellent as the team’s shapeshifter and neither she nor Smith seem at all phased in the company of Pine and Rodriguez, and as teams go they all get plenty of screen time, agency and hero moments.

The film of course is almost stolen out from under our band of thieves by two men. Sure, Hugh Grant might be channelling his Paddington bad guy here, but damn it all he does it so well that you really don’t care, and Page plays Yendar so straight-faced that he’s hilarious, yet again he’s more than just a comic foil, being very noble and quite handy in a fight.

Finally there’s Head who’s suitably threatening as the big bad.

The script is knowing without every winking at the audience, and for every laugh there’s a moment of genuine peril. Highlights include the initial prison escape, the deadly games the team participate in (and watch out for a cartoon cameo or two here!) but best of all a section in a graveyard that’s worth the price of admission alone.

A great cast, great script, and great direction this is an example of how to do a blockbuster right. Fingers crossed that these valiant heroes will throw a six and get a sequel because I’d really like to see all these guys again.

Blakes 7. Series A, Episode 13: Orac

Liberator is on its way to Aristo to deliver the power cells to Ensor sr., but all is not well. Gan seems a little hot and bothered, and come to think of it so does Jenna.

Blake doesn’t notice, he’s too busy reminding Avon—and by extension the audience—what happened last episode, even down to them somehow seeing footage of the ship exploding and being able to detect that it was a bomb, Zen’s sensors must be good!

Now Avon’s feeling dizzy as well. Slipping back into nurse mode Cally figures out that Jenna, Avon, Gan and Vila are all suffering from radiation sickness from spending too long on the surface of Cephlon. They need anti-radiation drugs to survive but curiously there are none on board (later in the episode Blake will yet again laud Liberator’s state of the art medical facilities!)

One of our heroes takes the news badly.

Vila: “Die? I can’t do that.”

Avon: “I’m afraid you can, it’s one talent we all share, even you.”

The only hope is that someone on Aristo will have anti-radiation drugs.

Meanwhile on Aristo Ensor isn’t well either. As he feeds his fish and tropical plants, a mysterious voice advises that a space vehicle has landed and two people are approaching.

Servalan and Travis have got to Aristo first, and they don’t give a damn about anti-radiation drugs. They just want Ensor’s greatest invention. Orac!

Orac is a curiously low key season finale, compared to what will follow at the end of series B, C and D it’s, well, a trifle bland?

The lead in from the previous episode is very good, even if Blake’s rehash of “last time on Blakes 7” makes Leyland’s log reports on the London seem completely natural, and several characters getting real sick adds some tension to the episode, and it desperately needs it. Servalan and Travis should feel more of a threat than they do, and the phibians inhabiting the tunnels under the planet should be scarier than they are.

Blake and Cally teleporting down as the only crewmembers not sick is a nice touch, and the response of those left behind on Liberator is nicely done, as Avon, Gan and Jenna congregate in the teleport chamber. Only Vila squirrels himself away, apparently being with the others reminds him of his own mortality!

I’ll say this for the Blakes 7 universe, there are an awful lot of planets that used to have a civilisation but now only have ruins! Servalan and Travis using the tunnels to get under Ensor’s force shield is a nice idea, it is ridiculous how tiny their torches are though! Servalan is attacked by the phibians and we get a rarity, she’s fearful and vulnerable, it doesn’t last long, but she’ll probably never be this defenceless again, not even if she ends up chained to an old wall…

Blake and Cally teleport to a beach where they’re met by a drone (not for the first time the show’s ahead of its time) and enter Ensor’s underground base via an overly elaborate route, you can’t shake the feeling Nation is padding the episode out as much as he can.

Derek Farr is likeable as Ensor, and while he is irascible, he isn’t remotely as grumpy as we’ll later be led to believe when people explain that Orac retains his personality. For one episode only Orac has Farr’s voice.

There are some amusing scenes in the base, and it’s a nice touch that Ensor feeds his fish and waters his plants again, imagining he’ll be back soon, not realising that he’ll soon die alone in a dank and filthy tunnel, which is a trifle grim.

So much time is wasted. Blake and Cally spend ages getting into the base, almost immediately to turn around and leave again, Servalan and Travis fare worse, at least Blake and Cally spend a few minutes there.

I wonder if there were potentially more scenes, but Greif’s injury curtailed them? He damaged his leg and so couldn’t film the studio scenes, only on location, hence you might notice that once they’re inside the base Travis is only ever seen from the waist down and his voice sounds like he’s in another room saying his lines weeks later!

The episode isn’t a total bust, there’s some nice interactions on Liberator, it’s the episode that gives us Orac, and it is hard to imagine the show without Orac once he’s there, and it provides the first face to face meeting between Avon, Cally and Vila with Servalan (and Avon and Vila’s first meeting with Travis.)

Avon’s “I was aiming for his head.” Is amusing too.

Talking of which Avon deciding to teleport down because they haven’t heard from Blake is logical and perfectly in keeping with the character, he isn’t going to wait to die. I can even rationalise why he takes Vila. Gan may or may not be good in a fight, and if he needs teleporting out in a hurry better to have Jenna on standby than one of the others, plus if he gets into trouble better to have Jenna on hand to rescue him rather than Vila.

That’s rubbish of course, he should have taken Jenna. Sigh.

All in all, it isn’t a terrible episode, but it doesn’t get the heart racing either (though to be fair Jenna’s outfit alone might do this) and mainly it’s an episode that’s just there. Even the cliff-hanger doesn’t quite grab you as well as it should as Orac predicts Liberator’s destruction!

I am of course coming at this from the angle of a man in his fifties who’s watched these episodes over and over, maybe seven year old me thought this episode, and Orac’s prediction, were the greatest thing he’d ever seen?

So ends Season A. I’ll be back soon with Season B which will see Blake get a trifle more fanatical and Travis a trifle more cockney…

John Wick: Chapter 4

Directed by Chad Stahelski. Starring Keanu Reeves, Donnie Yen, Bill Skarsgård, Laurence Fishburne, Hiroyuki Sanada, Shamier Anderson, Lance Reddick, Rina Sawayama, Clancy Brown and Ian McShane

Seen in March

After failing to strike a deal with the High Table, the mysterious criminal enterprise who want him dead, John Wick (Reeves) decides to go on the offensive, tracking down the Elder who sits above the table, John kills him. In retaliation the Marquis Vincent de Gramont (Skarsgård,) a member of the High Table, strips the New York Continental hotel manager Winston (McShane) of his title, declaring him excommunicado before blowing up the hotel!

Meanwhile John is hiding out at the Osaka Continental, run by his friend Shimazu Koji (Sanada) though Koji’s daughter Shimazu (Sawayama) thinks this is a bad idea and she may be right, because the Marquis has blackmailed a former High Table assassin, the blind Caine (Yen) to come out of retirement to hunt John Wick down, and Caine and a gaggle of other assassins are heading for Osaka…

From left, Rina Sawayama and Hiroyuki Sanada in “John Wick: Chapter 4”.

The first John Wick came out of nowhere and took everyone by surprise, and like many people I loved it. I enjoyed John Wick: Chapter 2 as well, though I couldn’t tell you much about it now, but if I’m honest John Wick: Chapter 3 Parabellum (wanna bet the Parabellum will eventually be lost?) left me somewhat cold, so I wasn’t sure about a fourth chapter, but I figured what the hell, and even decided to chance the IMAX showing.

I’m really glad I saw it on the big screen, and I’m doubly glad that I caught an IMAX showing because John Wick: Chapter 4 is a hugely enjoyable, gorgeous to look at balletic homage to, well extreme violence, but if you haven’t realised that about the John Wick franchise by now where have you been?

The film clocks in close to three hours (though there are a lot of credits) but I didn’t feel it because pacing wise the film is spot on, globe trotting from one battle to the next, and unlike the previous chapter this manages to mix things up a little, so it never felt like I was watching the same fight over and over.

Don’t get me wrong, this is the ultimate evolution of John Wick as a human cartoon character, but as grounded as the first film was by comparison, the original was never a gritty, realistic action film so it’s to be expected that the ridiculousness has been turned up to 11, or possibly 111. John survives being shot multiple times, he falls from great heights, and he gets hit by speeding cars. He gets hit by speeding cars a lot. None of this dented my enjoyment, not even everyone wearing bullet proof suits could do that.

Reeves excels again, even if he doesn’t say much, and for a man nudging sixty he’s amazing. I’m sure there is some use of CGI and stunt doubles but for the most part it does look like the man himself. Simply incredible.

Old friends return in the form of McShane, Fishburne and Reddick and it’s great to see them all, but especially Reddick. It was very emotional to see him given he so recently passed away. A joy in everything I saw him in. He’ll be missed.

Of the new characters the standout is Donnie Yen (who’s actually older than Keanu!) as Caine the blind assassin forced to go after our hero. He’s superb.

Skarsgård is creepily vicious as the Marquis and you will enjoy seeing him get his comeuppance (I mean, that’s not really a spoiler).

Anderson is interesting as Mr Nobody, a tracker with an almost supernatural ability to find John Wick, and a ridiculous excuse for why he doesn’t take one of several opportunities to kill him. I’d be surprised if you don’t see where they’re going with this character.

Sanada as Koji is great, as is Sawayama as his daughter. And it’s always a pleasure to see Clancy Brown.

Stahelski’s direction is spot on, and the cinematography is flawless, I mean the film looks beautiful as hell, and while I doubt it will happen, I’d love to see the film get an Oscar nod for cinematography if nothing else. There’s one particular gunfight that we witness top down that’s worth the price of admission alone, though it did make me feel a trifle queasy.

There’s also the best staircase scene since Joker.

It’s action packed, yet at times meditative, it’s funny yet mournful, and if it does turn out to be the final chapter then it’s a fitting capstone to the franchise.

See it on the biggest screen you can!

Blakes 7. Series A, Episode 12: Deliverance

A small ship crewed by two men travels through space, unbeknownst to the occupants, back at Space Command everyone’s favourite Supreme Commander is watching the ship’s progress.

On the ship the pilot, Ensor, tells his passenger, Maryatt, that they’re passing the planet Cephlon, cue some useful exposition about how there was once a civilisation there, but war saw them revert to savagery. When a bomb goes off (planted by you know who) the ship begins tumbling towards Cephlon.

Meanwhile on Liberator the crew are standing around watching yet another ship in distress (by my count the fourth so far)

Blake and co watch as life capsules separate from the ship and plunge towards the planet. The crew decide to see if there are any survivors. Zen advises radiation in the atmosphere will make any long term exposure deadly and so Blake tells, Avon, Jenna, Gan and Vila not to hang about down there.

On the surface of Cephlon they pair off, handily both survival capsules have landed close together (I’d say they were designed to do this only Jenna explicitly says they’re unpowered). Gan and Jenna find Maryatt’s capsule but he’s dead. Avon and Vila find Ensor alive. They teleport the wounded man up to the ship and, not for the first time, no one immediately notices that one of their number hasn’t come back!

Avon, Vila and Gan go back to find Jenna. After they’re gone Ensor comes round and takes Cally hostage, demanding that Blake leaves orbit so he can deliver vital medical supplied to his father.

Meanwhile back on Space Command Servalan explains to Travis that she blew up the ship so they could surreptitiously get their hands on Ensor senior’s greatest invention. Orac…

After Bounty, which was a great episode for the ladies, here they’re relegated to damsels in distress again. Admittedly Jenna initially frees herself from the primitives, but her escape is incredibly short lived. Meanwhile Cally spends most of the episode lying down with a gun to her head. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing Vila down on the planet, but it would have made more sense if he was the one held at gunpoint.

There is much to like in this episode, but also much to annoy.

There’s more than a hint of Sinofar about Meegat, maybe it’s the diaphanous gown or that she seems to be one of the last remnants of the former civilisation. Her instantly dropping at Avon’s feet does allow for some nice humour as Vila in particular gets to roll his eyes a lot, but it also gives Avon the opportunity for some wry humour, and credit to Darrow he at least occasionally suggests Avon is a little embarrassed, although at other times…

Vila: You’re enjoying this.

Avon: Probably.

Meegat’s people waiting for the chosen one to help launch a rocket that will carry their race to a new home is incredibly similar to Time Squad, but in fairness to Nation he gets Gan to lampshade this fact, and given our heroes allowed one race to die back in episode four, helping another to survive here does help redress the balance somewhat.

Last time I joked about Blake murdering puppies. Thankfully he doesn’t go that far, but yet again Thomas gets a moment of cold bastardry. When handed Maryatt’s wallet he identifies that he’s a top Federation space surgeon (why’s no one ever a space plumber?) but when Cally asks if there’s anything else he offhandedly mentions a picture of a woman and two children with zero empathy.

They’re not in the episode much yet Servalan and Travis get some meaty stuff. First off Servalan highlights how perfidious she is by explaining she’s going behind the Federation’s back to get hold of Orac, but just in case you’re not convinced  by now that she really is a wrong un (if so, where the hell have you been?), she blithely throws Maryatt under the bus by branding him a deserter to cover her own arse, even though this means Maryatt’s family will become slaves. All this makes Blake’s reaction to the family photo an exceptionally nice touch.

Travis gets a rare moment of humanity when he reveals Maryatt was the doctor who saved his life after Blake shot him. Any empathy is quickly snuffed out however, because all that matters is Blake and if by helping Servalan he can go after Blake, then he doesn’t care about Maryatt’s reputation or his family.

It’s a great exchange that cements how ruthless and self-serving Servalan is (self-Servalan-ing?) but also shows just how obsessed with Blake Travis has now become.

The primitives on Cephlon are uninteresting stock cavemen, curious that Avon and co decide not to gun them all down, and it’s also fascinating that Gan gets to have a rumble with them and then grins as he tells Vila he was beginning to enjoy himself. But wait…what about his limiter?

Let’s face it Gan’s limiter is all over the place as a plot device, trotted out when needed, conveniently forgotten when not, although I did read an interesting theory that Gan’s limiter is actually to stop him hurting women, which would potentially show the character in a vastly different light. I think it’s more likely coincidence and inconsistent writing, but it is an intriguing idea.

All in all, an average episode that’s more important for what it leads us towards than most of what it does itself. but it’s nice to see Avon in a leadership role (though really shouldn’t Jenna be in charge on Cephlon?) even if sending everyone off alone after one of their number has been abducted seems a trifle risky! There’s also some nice interplay between Blake and Avon, it’s rare to see Blake angry at Avon but he is here, and their conversion at the end where Blakes asks him how it felt to be a god is a nice touch.

Seriously though, what is Orac?

Blakes 7. Series A, Episode 11: Bounty

We’re in a forest and Cally is skulking around. She manages to avoid a squad of Federation troopers before meeting up with Blake, after warning him about the troopers telepathically. They then watch an old fashioned car driving along the road. Cally says the old man in the back of the car is Sarkoff, former president of the planet Lindor. He’s in exile on this planet living in a curiously small castle guarded by Federation troopers. and always by his side is his bodyguard, Tyce.

Despite tripping perimeter alarms Blake makes it inside to speak with Sarkoff.

Meanwhile in space Liberator has only gone and found yet another space craft in trouble on the scanner, what are the odds? This time the crew are cautious—though not cautious enough—but Gan suggests he teleports over and checks everything out. If he doesn’t report back they can destroy the ship. It seems a trifle excessive but amazingly Jenna, Avon and Vila agree.

Down on the planet Sarkoff mistakes Blake for an assassin. The former president of Lindor seems ready to die, but Tyce has other ideas. Back on Liberator a message comes in from Gan that everything’s ok.

Vila’s happy, until Zen points out that wasn’t Gan’s voice…

After Breakdown, which tried and failed to merge very different plot threads together, here we have an episode that does it perfectly. There’s an A story and a B story and in the end they dovetail seamlessly into one. I’ll be upfront, Bounty has always been one of my guilty pleasure episodes, and if somewhere there is a cosmic tally of how many times I’ve watched each episode I reckon Bounty would probably be top ten. Mostly it’s because it’s a great episode with a lot going on, and one that manages not only to give each of the main cast something to do, but also introduces three new characters and makes each of them stand out; the broken old man who used to be a leader, the loyal and heroic daughter and the sneaky pirate who sold his own grandmother (to be fair she was going to sell him first.)  There’s also the fact that one of those characters made quite the impression on me as a child and still does today. Tyce is all kinds of wonderful and one of those characters you could easily see properly joining the crew.

 Sarkoff’s antique car is a trifle silly, get ready for the slowest car chase in sci-fi history, but the folly used as his home is wonderful (and Sarkoff referring to it as a typical 20^th century residence is the icing on the cake) and something I never noticed before is the collection of orange flags festooning both outside and inside the folly, presumably the pennant of Lindor it’s a nice touch. His collection of antiques is perhaps a little on the nose for a show made in the later portion of the 20^th century but it handily gives T. P. McKenna a lot to work with, and it allows Blake to be a cold hearted bastard for the second week in a row. Threatening to break Kayne’s hands is one thing, but destroying a sweet old man’s record collection? “Come with me Sarkoff, or I’ll smash your Culture Club LP next!” Tune in next week for when Roj drowns some puppies…

McKenna is very good as Sarkoff, part shattered hero, part effete snob, yet with just a hint of fire left in him. There’s some lovely mournful music that helps set the scene for him as Napoleon in exile, and he plays a man who’s given up so well, even when Blake tells him about the Lindor strategy it isn’t enough to rouse him.

Carinthia West is great as Tyce, I may have mentioned this already, snippy and frustrated with her father yet clearly devoted to him. She gets some decent agency and is gorgeous (yes I am that shallow, so sue me.) I’ll even forgive her the contractually obliged flirting with Blake at the end.

This is a great episode for the female characters. Alongside Tyce, Cally is back in hardened guerrilla mode this week, leaping from the ramparts to take down a Federation trooper at one point, and she’s back to having a sniffy relationship with Jenna (momentarily and understandably) there’s also a nice conversation with Sarkoff referencing another exiled Auron (do any of these guys get to go home?)

The big winner though is Jenna. For a while you think Miss Stannis will just be a background player this week, but then the story flips and begins to revolve around her. She gets to let her inner smuggler out again and her interplay with Tarvin is great, especially the implied romantic history between them. She also gets to to go hand to hand with three guards! Fantastic agency for the character, but much as this is great, it makes me sad knowing what’s coming next series.

Talking of Tarvin it’s a wonderfully sleazy performance by Marc Zuber and he and Sally Knyvette bounce off each other fantastically. It shouldn’t be ignored that there’s more than a hint of racism in how the Amagons are portrayed but I can acknowledge this and still admire the character, he’s got a lot of personality and hey, he gets closer to taking the ship and crew than Travis ever has!

Throw in some lovely interplay between Vila and Avon as the former tries to defuse an explosive collar and the latter tries to open a door (not to mention Vila’s wonderful little tirade at Zen) and this is an episode with something for everyone. There’s action, adventure, humour, betrayal, bluff and counter bluff, not to mention another little look at how the Federation operates, and the political aspects of the story shouldn’t be ignored. For a show that too often doesn’t see Blake and co actually making a difference (apart from as a rallying point for malcontents) this is an episode that suggests they’ve struck quite a blow, assuming Sarkoff can keep his planet from ceding to the Federation.

Any downsides? They’re minimal. The car, the Amagon’s silly guns and maybe the implied jealousy at the end, he’s Roj Blake not Captain Kirk! Beyond this it’s perfect.

Next time, what the hell is an ORAC?