Posts Tagged ‘Richard III’

Richard III: The Solution

Posted: February 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

With the recent discovery of the remains of King Richard III an argument has broken out over where his final resting place should be; a debate so intense that it might ignite a new War of the Roses. In order to prevent civil war, I’ve come up with an effective compromise that should please everyone.

Did you know, not a single English monarch is buried on the Moon? Surely it is time to arrest this shameful state of affairs. Last Plantagenet King of England, and first English monarch buried under lunar regolith, isn’t that a fitting memorial for one of the most misunderstood kings in English history?

Plus, by all accounts Richard was often seen looking up at the moon, and contemporary accounts have been discovered quoting the King as having said “Forsooth, verily have I often looked up at our lunar neighbour and wished I could visit its serene surface. Perhaps one day my bones may rest beneath its surface. Yes, that would be good that would…now then, has anyone seen my horse?”

This plan has many positives;
• The low cost of lunar real estate minimises expense.
• Leicester, where the King’s bones reside, has its own Space Centre (serendipity or what!)
• Lunar tourism is at an all-time low; in fact apparently no tourist has visited the moon since 1972! The interring of Richard III can only boost the Moon’s woeful tourist industry, providing a new attraction to stand beside such classics as; “That flag” “Those golf balls” and “Some footprints.”

Richard III. The Moon. You know it makes sense.

Maybe I should start a petition?